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3. No Nonsense Fat Loss

With January around the corner, we are all in dire need of an epic fat loss program.

This is it.NNFL Is The ONLY “Non-Cardio” Fat Burning System Customized To Your Muscle Fiber Type So That You Destroy Unwanted Fat, Sculpt New Muscle Mass & Reveal Eye Catching Six Pack Abs

The best part? It has a LIFETIME guarantee. 

You have literally nothing to lose but your gut, love handles and man boobs.If this isn’t the most effective fat burning system you’ve tried to date… and you’re not 100% with the amount of fat loss you experience in the coming months…

Simply let the ladies at Vince’s Helpdesk know and they’ll provide you a no-hassle, immediate, refund on the spot. And heck, you can keep the program just for trying it.

What’s the risk in at least trying? Here’s what you and I both know, one year from today you will certainly arrive. The question is where? Will you be in the same body or the body of your dreams?

Grab NNFL here

4. Hollywood Abs

What are the most cutting edge techniques Hollywood actors, bodybuilders and pro athletes use to break records and transform at a lightning fast pace?

First off is probably drugs; steroids, growth factors, and injected insulin come to mind.

Second is natural supplements such as creatine. Thirdly, nutrition hacks such as carbohydrate depletion/loading, ketosis hacking, etc

I’m not debating that these methods work; they do.

The legality and safety, these Hollywood actors or stage ready bodybuilders are choosing to do to look perfect before they hit the bodybuilding stage/screen is another issue altogether.

However, there’s another more potent technique that has recently come to light that gives them an unfair six pack advantage. 

Fasted abdominal training via abdominal blood flow circuits.

New research shows that “spot reduction” isn’t a myth, but a real thing. Research shows that A.B.C. is the best method for building your abs and melting belly fat.

It’s also one of the dirty secret’s marvel uses to get it’s superhero’s looking ripped for the camera in record time.

>> Steal Marvel superhero’s best kept six pack secret

5. Anabolic Reload

This muscle building secret from my friend Steve… (also known as the “Jacked Grandpa”) Is working out less… and lifting less.

However, that’s not all…

He uses what’s called STX sets or “slow-twitch Xhaustion” sets…

Which force your muscles into sleeve splitting muscle growth… almost on command.

It won’t matter if you’re in your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s or beyond… Steve’s techniques will have you packing on strength and mass FASTER than you did as a teenager.

It can even be used by younger guys to accelerate results!

Check it out for yourself: STX sets for maximum growth

6. Anabolic Sleeping

There are two times in the day your body builds muscle. One, post workout. The other, during sleep.

Unfortunately, most guys only build muscle post workout…

Meaning, you’re leaving MASSIVE results on the table…

However, today you can have the muscle-building edge 97% of men know nothing about. That will allow you to pack on mass overnight and skyrocket your strength.

Simply follow this simple pre-bed routine and let your body do the rest…

>> Anabolic sleeping – sleep less to have MORE energy, testosterone and muscle growth

7. Mass-Zymes

Starting in the 80’s, supplement companies began pushing massive protein consumption.

We all believed that “MORE PROTEIN = MORE MUSCLE GROWTH”.

I’m here to tell you that IT’S A BIG FAT LIE.

Just because something contains 40 grams of protein… it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gonna absorb all 40 grams. Without enzymes, most of it ends up in your toilet bowl.

Anabolic priming takes care of you form the inside out. Anabolic Priming is a cutting-edge and scientifically-proven system that unleashes floods of anabolic hormones in your body, creating the prefect environment for more muscle, better recovery and more strength.

It also prepares and activates your muscles, joints, nervous system, and even your psychology and mind, for any type of workout you are about to do.

>> Anabolic Stretching 2.0% OFF

If Superman did a running workout, this would be it.

It’s the #1 method for packing on lean muscle and cutting inches off your waist in the shortest amount of time. While also skyrocketing your testosterone and growth hormone levels. Most ordinary folks know nothing about it…  

Listen up. Not all running is created equal. And the most efficientOlympic athletes and buffest Hollywood actors and fitness models know this…

Now, there’s always traditional high intensity interval training…

However, you can screw HIIT up quite a bit. And you’ll leave tons of muscle building results on the table because of it…

So instead of spinning your wheels, feeling like a lab rat trapped in a cage… Combine the below techniques to your running workouts for superhuman results…

Anabolic Cardio Workout For Massive Muscle Gains

Just imagine having eye-popping vascularity. With veins the size of pythons hanging off your arms.

And a massive 530% boost in growth hormone for greater muscle gains and accelerated fat loss… with a ramped-up sex-drive so you can perform like superman in the sack…

All because you’ve adopted an anabolic cardio philosophy…well, it’s possible man. Yet there’s some bad high intensity interval training habits you have to break first.

Because…

Most “Traditional” Interval Training Workouts Won’t Give You The Results You Crave.

Here’s why…

Traditional interval training workouts typically last 6-10 seconds per interval. Although, this isn’t a bad thing… it’s not ideal if you want maximal results.

A recent study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicineshows lactic acid is the #1 factor for achieving an exercise induced growth-hormone response (1).

Which is vital for muscle-growth.

Yet traditional 6-10 second sprint interval workouts don’t last long enough to reach the lactic threshold… a.k.a. the secret sauce of muscle building cardio…

Not until 15 to 20 seconds of all-out sprint effort does your body begin producing muscle-building lactic acid… yet most guys never reach that point in their training.

Unlike common thought, the first 10 seconds of a sprint are aerobic (with oxygen). Not anaerobic (without oxygen)…. this according to the author of The Oxygen Advantage and Buteyko Breathing expert, Patrick McKeown…

(Buteyko breathing is crucial for your gains… I’ll reveal why in a moment)…

Back to oxygen. As long as it’s present during exercise, it’s impossible to reach the coveted lactic threshold responsible for turning your cardio workout into a muscle-building matrix.

To make a long story short… your Sprint Interval Workout should last 20-30 seconds for max gains.

Word of warning: It’s going to hurt. Your lungs will feel on fire. Your legs and arms will weigh heavy like cement. And the last 10 seconds of each sprint will test your mental grit.

Yet because you’re on my site, I know you’re a guy who’s serious about making gains… and you’ll trade a little pain for the glory of a ripped, attention-grabbing physique that would grace the Hollywood big-screen in the next superhero flick…

Am I right?

Buteyko Breathing For Nitric Oxide Gains

Here’s another trick you’ll want to add to your sprint training workout if you’re determined to get the best results from your cardio regimen and become an anabolic animal…

Have you heard of Buteyko breathing? Probs not. Most guys haven’t. It’s a special breathing technique developed by a Soviet Union scientist in the 1960’s…

And when used during sprinting you’ll experience tons of anabolic benefits… one being, a massive surge in nitric oxide production (2)…

Here’s why that rocks.

Nitric oxide is the infamous “Viagra chemical” that helps guys last longer and perform stronger in bed. Yet instead of becoming a slave to the little-blue pill… and selling your soul to Big Pharma and their nasty side-effects, this one breathing hack may do the trick…

And there’s plenty more benefits to the increase in natural nitric oxide levels…

Like improved cardiovascular health, lowered blood pressure, bigger muscle pumps, and greater nutrient delivery to your muscles for faster recovery.

Here’s the trick.

How To Turn Traditional HIIT Into Anabolic Running

Combine the simple Buteyko nasal breathing method to your sprint while in the lactic threshold during your sprint interval workout and your natural nitric oxide levels will shoot through the roof (3)…

It may feel strange at first. But you’ll get used to it. And I guarantee you’ll never perform your cardio workouts without this technique moving forward. It’s that powerful and the results are that noticeable…

In fact, with only 16-minutes per week following an anabolic cardio workout like this and you’ll trigger better results than what most people spend hours chasing in the gym…

I’ve been there. I used to follow traditional cardio methods. Which destroyed my sex drive, stripped me of my hard-earned muscle mass, and nearly ruined my marriage…

Yep, my marriage. It’s embarrassing to admit, and you can read more about my story here…

What I’ve learned is your cardio workouts can be your greatest muscle-building, testosterone boosting ally… or it can steal your gains, make you more fat, and send your male-libido on life support…

Question is… what’s it gonna be for you? To be honest, Anabolic Running is only for guys who don’t want to go through the motions anymore…

What To Do Next…

For guys who want the MOST out of their workouts and aren’t willing to leave any results on the table… If that’s you, here’s your next action step:

Add Anabolic Running to the beginning of any workout, or perform on your days off from strength training and you’ll be on the fast track to a lean and rock-hard body that subconsciously demands respect from other men and attracts the opposite sex…

Just like a superhero… They’ve got the brawn. The respect. The lady. And the power. You can too.

These Anabolic Running workouts take as little as 4-minutes per workout. That’s it. And you don’t have to necessarily “run” to experience the results…

Just follow the Anabolic Running principles while on a stationary bike, elliptical, ergometer, etc… and watch your body transform into a lean and muscular physique.

Now’s your chance to harness the power of Anabolic Running:

Click Here to Access The Anabolic Running Program 

References:

1. The Role of Lactate in the Exercise Induced Human Growth Hormone Response: Evidence From McArdle Disease. Centre For Sports Medicine & Human Performance. Brunel University, Uxbridge. Godfrey, Richard. 2009, July.

2. Mercola, Joseph. “Buteyko Breathing Method Helps Reverse Health Problems.”Mercola.com. N.p., 24 Nov. 2014. Web. 08 July 2017.

3. McKeown, Patrick. The Oxygen Advantage: The Simple, Scientifically Proven Breathing Techniques For A Healthier, Slimmer, Faster and Fitter You.

Do you even lift bro?

I thought so, but how do you prove it.

The average lifter usually judges you on your lift. Yes- just one lift- the bench press.

It just looks so badass seeing the most jacked guy in the gym burying himself under a mountain of iron and pumping it down to his chest and back up again.

And even personally, I cannot even count the amount of times I’ve received the “Hey, how much can you bench, man?” question.

Over time we grow bigger, stronger, and a bit older and wiser in the process, showed me that the flat bench isn’t all that.

In fact, the flat bench may be KILLING your progress in the gym.

Here are 3 reasons you need to ditch using the flat bench for good today.

#1 You Want Muscle- Not Man-Boobs

Ever see a big muscular guy pop his shirt off only have have big saggy pecs?

That guy may even be you! See, all that effort pushing the pace and killing it in the gym might not be helping your body. This happens despite getting a solid night of sleep regularly and eating the cleanest foods with plenty of protein and veggies.

It drives most guys crazy to not figure this out sooner. The secret is your biomechanics. Here’s what I mean…

When you use a flat bench you develop the muscle and make it larger. That’s kind of the idea of exercise, so that should make sense. However, it isn’t that simple.

You see, new research is showing that muscles are composed of different units. For example, you can split your chest into an upper unit and a lower unit. While flat bench can work the lower region it doesn’t efficiently work the upper part. The result?

Your chest muscles get larger but they sag when you stand because the top muscles aren’t developed as much as they can be.

The solution is simple. You want to skip the flat bench and go right into an incline bench. With different leverage on your muscles, you’ll work the chest here with a greater emphasis on the upper chest to give you those ideal pecs that are strong AND catch attention at the beach.

#2 You Don’t Want to Turn Into A Plank

Generating stability and pressing for a heavy bench press may build your chest and get you stronger…

But it may be destroying your mobility.

You’ll notice in the tiny aspects of your life that while you feel stronger and put up bigger numbers on your flat bench, it’s tougher to tie your shoes or put on shirts. Even your walk is more mechanical and still.

It literally looks as if you have a stick shoved somewhere unpleasant, right?

That’s because when you set up for the bench press your shoulders are pinned under all that weight. This means, you’re placing a heavy load on your body and pinning your scapula and spine down.

Without working on your mobility, this shoulder tightness simply spreads making you stiffer and stiffer, possibly leading to injury.

Another alternative is skipping the flat bench and working the chest in a similar way with cables or with bodyweight pushing exercises. You can get massive strength (and bring out your 6-pack abs) with the stability demands of cable pressing or working towards a 1-arm pushup.

#3 You don’t want excess elbow and shoulder stress

Bench pressing can put a ton of stress on your wrists, elbows, and shoulders if you’re not used to it. Unfortunately, the joint strength comes largely from the condition of your tendons and ligaments. There take much longer than muscles to respond to training loads and grow stronger.

This means that if you’re pushing your strength and muscles on the bench press you may be overtraining these vital connective tissues!

That being said, the flat bench is a surprisingly technical lift- it isn’t just lay down and push.

You need to have your arms the proper distance apart (based on your arm length), you need traction from the floor, your shoulders back and down, ribcage slightly lifted, torque generated in your shoulders, and traction from the floor. 

Whew, that’s a lot!

And if you’re off a bit it could mean more strain down the road because your elbows, shoulders, or wrists will have to make up for the slack.

 A good alternative is to use dumbbell presses.

Here, you don’t have a rigid barbell so you can more easily rotate and align your body for optimal pushing. The extra stability challenge means that you can use LESS weight but still build REAL strength.

At the end of the day, the flat bench press isn’t going anywhere. It’s a classic test of strength. But maybe, it should remain a test and not a normal part of your training. Unless you want to get really good at the flat bench press, you really don’t need to practice it all the time.

Instead, use the substitutions in the article above and you won’t even miss the flat bench press. 

You’ll be able to build more functional strength with increased shoulder and core stabilization.

You’ll be able to improve the look of your pecs so no one mistakes your chest muscles for man boobs after all your hours in and out of the gym. 

You’ll even save your joints tremendous strain by preventing pain in your elbows, shoulders, and wrists.

Not to mention, you’ll save time at the gym by not having to wait for EVERYONE to use the flat bench.

Try these variations this week and enjoy your results. 

Is your training moving you closer to your goals or are you just killing time in the gym? 

You see, 92% of the guys out there snag an average routine from offline or from a magazine to get into average shape. Guys like you follow the same plan for months before realizing it’s not getting them the results they want.

The truth is they either get injured OR discouraged from seeing no results and stop lifting.

It’s a painful pattern especially since lifting isn’t hard. Getting fit gives you three key things; strength, muscles, and makes you harder to kill.

 Pass all 8 of these tests and you’ll know you’ve become one big strong badass.

1. Can You Bench Enough?

It seems the first question a novice asks is the same old, “how much do you bench”.

It’s about the same as giving someone a passing “how are you”.

While most guys go through the motion of the bench press in hopes of gaining monstrous strength and looking ripped, few achieve those goals.

So, let’s separate those boys from us men.

If you can bench press your bodyweight you’ve officially passed a tremendous milestone, which makes it our first badass test.

Not there yet? No problem! This usually comes down to two sticking points; either your technique or distractions.

For your technique, you want to place your wrists above your elbows to stack the joints on top of each other. This means you’ll have to widen up your grip a bit

 For distractions, you want to quit killing your muscles with all that extra nonsense in your routine. That means if you bench, incline bench, do chest flys, and other chest exercises you won’t be developing that badass bench pressing strength. 

Stay focused and you’ll knock this one out of the park.

But the truth is that the bench press isn’t that special…

..how much do you front squat? Clean?

I think you get it, for big compound lifts you know you’re a badass when you can rep out ATLEAST your bodyweight.

2. Join the Double Bodyweight Deadlift Club.

The deadlift checks out your ability to produce tension, grip strength, and fire your ‘go’ muscles that are used in everything from mind-blowing sex to walking up stairs.

You don’t need a 505 pound deadlift, but pulling double your bodyweight means you’re ready for whatever lift has to throw at you. It could be that you avoid pain carrying the groceries into the house or you may save a friend’s life by picking him off the floor and taking him to the emergency room.

The best part is getting a better deadlifting just requires you be strong. So, work your grip with pullups, work your hips with kettlebells, and work your tension with high rep squats. This guarantees a flexible training approach that avoids boredom or burnout.

3. The 2-Minute Plank Meltdown.

Let’s be honest. It feels challenging to push or lift a heavy weight, but once it’s lifted you’re done, right?

Unfortunately, we can’t label you as a badass without proof of some endurance. Here, the test of endurance is all about your core strength. 

We’re talking functionality, posture, strength, endurance, and the mental toughness to sweat out a two minute plank.

If you can squat or deadlift big numbers this will be a walk in the park for you because all three moves require abdominal tension.

And by tension we aren’t talking about floating in this position like a hippie, we mean actively flexing with the lats, glutes, and core engaged so you’re actively working here.

4. Look Ma- No Hands!

Remember those commercials?

 “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”

 Here’s a crazy fact: the average man in the United States is too weak to do a single pushup. This means when they fall down they cannot get up. 

Can you imagine struggling to crazy to a phone because you’ve fallen and don’t have the strength to get back up?

This test doesn’t focus on the push up. If you’re reading this you are NOT the average guy. I challenge you to take getting up off the floor to the next level and lift yourself up using only your feet.

That’s right, from laying down to standing without using your hands.

 The easiest way is to sit up, get your legs underneath you, and get into a lunge position and step up.

 If you want to get fancier you can teach yourself to kip up like Bruce Lee!

5. Balance On One Foot For 10 Seconds

More men fail this test than you’d believe.

Balancing is a sign of coordination. It’s where your strength meets your mobility. If you can’t balance on one foot for 10 seconds you’re infinitely more likely to have muscle imbalances, hip problems, and will likely fall down in the near future.

Plus, you can’t use the ultimate defense from the Karate Kid!

 By focusing on balance your lifts WILL go up too. Better balance allows you to not fight the weights as much because you’re properly grounded in the lift and naturally in better alignment.

 Do yourself a favor and invest 20 seconds on this one.

Too easy? You can step this test up by closing your eyes and shaking your head while you balance. 

6. The Death Grip Test 

How healthy are your shoulders? 

Apparently, we’ve evolved from climbers. Whether it was snagging fruit from a tree or scaling a cliff to run from a lion, you and I were meant to climb.

However, men who hang from branches, or even pull up bars, are a rare sight. You can even see it in the “forward head” posture that most guys have because they completely skip hanging movements and have poor posture, weak shoulders, and lead mediocre lives.

But not you.

You’re a badass, right?

That’s why we’re going to hang. This test has several stages:

First, you just want to actively hang for 30 seconds. By actively hanging I’m talking about shoulder blades drawn back and down, like you’re trying to pinch a dollar between your scapula, and a slight bend in the elbows. 

Got it?

Next, after 30 seconds, do a pullup.

If that’s all you can do, it’s a start. Otherwise, you can repeat the cycle of 30 second hang and one pull up for 9 more times and see how far you get.

If you can do that you’re probably set for ninja warrior with strong healthy shoulders with a killer grip.

7. The Leap

What is the point of having a big squat or deadlift if you can’t use it for anything?

The long jump teaches you to use all that strength quickly and powerfully. Meaning you can sprint faster, jump farther, and kick harder.

With the long jump it’s mostly about dialing in your form to get proper distance and being strong. The key is to not bend your knees too much.

Simply throw your arms back as you go down to a quarter squat (this preloads your leg muscles like a stretched rubber band) then fling your arms forward as you explode from your hips- just like a power clean.

Hips, knees, ankles all extending as your arms reach out and you soar.

8. Cardio For The Modern Badass

If the deadlift and the plank had a baby it would be the Farmer’s Walk.

Sure, you can lift weights all you like BUT can you walk with them? Try this test and you’ll find out. Take a deep breath and pick up half your bodyweight in each hand and go for a walk, the farther the better.

Just do yourself a favor and end your walk near the weight racks- you’re welcome in advance.

If you ace this, not only can you hold onto a decent amount of weight but you’re proving you can walk and stabilize the weight without falling and getting hurt. Your forearms will burn, your lungs will beg for more air, and you’ll want to take a break- don’t you’ve got this.

At the end of the day there are many different reasons to train. If you’re looking to be stronger, harder to kill, and be useful in a crisis to friends and family these are the test you need to pass.

I challenge you to try at least one tomorrow and see how you stack up.

There I was, doing pushups in my bedroom. Twenty pushups per set, if memory serves me.

Not that I couldn’t do more, of course. I could easily have done more than fifty pushups per set- and I wanted to.

I knew I could have pushed myself a lot harder- hell, I could have been in the gym lifting daddy weights instead of at home doing pushups. But I remembered the times when I had pushed myself too hard, trained too much and too often. I remembered the injuries, the sleepless nights, the depression and apathy.

And so that’s why I was taking a deload week. In fact, I wasn’t even supposed to be doing the pushups, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to not work out for a whole week.

I figured there had to be a better way- some way that I could push myself as hard as I wanted to, and avoid overtraining, without needing to take a week off every two months.

And there is. But first, let’s take a step back and look at why most programs incorporate de-loads.

Suppose you’re a trainer designing one of these programs. You want the people following your program to progress as fast as possible.

However, you know that some trainees will push themselves harder than others. You know that some people can recover faster than others. So how do you design a one-size-fits-all program that will work for most of the people who follow it?

If a trainee’s workload is less than what his body could handle, his progress will be slower than it could be. Maybe he’ll make no progress at all, but in all likelihood he’ll make progress- it will just be slow.

On the other hand, if you dial up the volume and intensity too high, many of the people who follow your program will develop overtraining syndrome. Their gainz will plateau and even start to reverse, they’ll be fatigued, depressed and sick all the time, and their dicks might even stop working.

Faced with this choice, under-training is clearly the lesser of two evils. And indeed, most programs err on the side of creating too little training stimulus rather than too much. Most dedicated trainees will be satisfied with any progress at all, even glacially slow progress.

But what if there was a better way? What if you could push your body to its limits- without ever going over?

Auto-regulation: The secret to making faster gainz, without overtraining

Auto-regulation is a set of techniques used to dynamically adjust the volume and intensity of your workouts. Properly employed, they allow you to build strength, work capacity and muscle mass as fast as physiologically possible.

In other words, auto-regulation is fucking awesome. But let’s be clear on what it is and is not.

There have been time when I worked out harder than planned, because I felt like my body could take it. There have also been times when I cut my workouts short, or used lighter weights than planned, because I felt more fatigued than expected and didn’t want to over-exert myself.

That can be useful, but it’s not auto-regulation.

Auto-regulation is more than just “listening to your body.” Rather than acting on subjective feelings, it’s characterized by the use of specific, objective, and pre-planned rules for adjusting your fitness programming on the fly.

Auto-regulation techniques come in a few varieties. Here’s a basic typology:

Positive techniques increase the training stimulus when possible, while negative techniques decrease the training stimulus when necessary.

Single-exercise techniques modulate the training stimulus applied with a single exercise, while whole-body techniques modify the training load applied to your whole body, usually by adding or subtracting rest days.  

Finally, dietary auto-regulation adjusts your diet, adding or subtracting calories in order to either maximize hypertrophy without fat gain, or maximize fat loss without losing strength or muscle mass.

I know what you’re thinking- Cool story bro, but how do I use it? I gotcha. Here are for auto-regulation techniques you can start incorporating today.

Technique #1: Reactive deloading

One of the more commonly used methods of auto-regulation, reactive deloading is a single-exercise negative technique. Out of all the auto-regulation techniques, this is the one that most directly substitutes for traditional deloads.

Here’s how it works: when you fail to hit the expected number of reps on one of your sets, you lower the weight by about 20% for all remaining sets of that same exercise. All remaining sets are performed at high speeds in order to reach high muscle activation levels, and are still limited to the same number of reps despite using a lower weight.

Example: you’re bench pressing 245 pounds for five sets of five, at a low, controlled cadence. On the second set you only make four reps. You lower the weight to 195 pounds and perform the remaining three sets as sets of five, lifting with an explosive tempo.

Note that the weight is only lowered for that one exercise, and only for the remainder of that one workout. Once you’re done with the last set, it’s back to your regularly scheduled program.

Reactive de-loading is best used with heavy, compound exercises that produce the most fatigue, and therefore present the greatest risk of overtraining. For lower-weight and isolation exercises, you’re better off either using AVT, which I’ll describe later, or not auto-regulating at all.

Technique #2: Autoregulatory volume training

Another negative, single body part technique, AVT has similar goals to reactive de-loading, but takes a different approach. Reactive deloading holds volume constant while allowing intensity to be lowered as needed. AVT takes the opposite approaching, holding the weight constant while allowing reps per set to free-float.

How it works is, you perform your first set of a given exercise as normal, carefully noting how hard you exerted yourself on the last rep. For subsequent sets, you use the same weight but instead of completing a target number of reps, you stop each set after doing a rep that was as difficult as the last rep of the first set.

This frees your mind from the need to count reps so that you can focus on moving the weight. Not thinking about reps lets you focus on your technique, and it tends to increase force production since you don’t hold back during the first few reps of each set.

Another way to look at this is that traditional weight training hold both volue and intensity constant from one workout to another, while difficulty varies. By contrast, both AVT and reactive deloading maintain consistent difficulty by allowing either the weight or volume to be adjusted as needed.

AVT is a great tool for normalizing the training stress produced by your workouts. It works best with exercises that are performed for at least five reps, but can be used with pretty much any exercise. The main determinant of whether to use it is your psychology.

This isn’t a good choice for unmotivated trainees who will use it as an excuse to slack off. On the other hand, it’s also a bad idea for people who can’t hold themselves back- those people will find themselves going to failure on the first set, then doing it again on every subsequent set.

In order to implement AVT, you need the discipline and determination to push yourself exactly as hard as planned- no more, no less.

Technique #3: Conditional failure training

Conditional failure training is a positive single-exercise technique, and in a sense it’s the polar opposite of reactive de-loading or AVT. Instead of lowering the workload when you fall short, you raise it when you meet or exceed expectations.

Here’s how it works: when you hit your expected number of reps on every set of a given exercise, you continue until muscle failure on the last set.

For instance, say you’re doing three sets of eight dumbbell shoulder presses. You make your eight reps on the first two sets, so when you hit eight reps on set three, you keep going, squeezing out two more reps before you can’t go any further.

Obviously, you only want to do this with exercises for which going to failure won’t be dangerous- nothing like military presses or back squats where you could drop the weight on yourself.

It works best with higher-rep exercises where you’re only reaching full muscle activation later in the set, and is best reserved for the last exercise in your workout that targets a given muscle. In other words, it works well with pec flyes, but not if you have dips coming up in a few minutes.  

Technique #4: As-needed rest days

This one’s pretty self-explanatory; take an extra rest day when you need one. That makes this a negative, whole-body auto-regulation technique.

The catch, of course, is that you have clear rules for determining when you “need” an extra rest day. And of course, you have fewer pre-planned rest days, since the point here is to replace, not add to, your existing rest periods.

If you want to start doing this, first cut back on your planned rest days. If you’re currently working out every other day, switch to a two days on, one day off schedule. If you’re working out four days a week, raise that to five or six days a week.

You’ll want to take an extra rest day when you see signs of a whole body plateau. That means you’re falling short on multiple exercises across several body parts. Of course, we all have bad workouts sometimes due to normal day to day variation in strength and sleep quality, so you only want to throw in an extra rest day when this happens several times in a short period.

Example: You’ve been working out three days a week. You raise that to five days a week. On any given workout, if you fall short of your expected number of reps on three or more exercises, you mark that on your calendar as having been a bad workout.  

If you have three bad workouts within a seven-day period, you add an extra rest day after that workout. You never take two rest days in a row however, so if this happens on the day before a rest day, you instead take your extra rest day on the day after the next workout.

While single body part methods like AVT and reactive de-loading are my first choice for negative auto-regulation, as-needed rest days make an effective second line of defense for people who are particularly prone to whole-body overtraining syndrome. I commonly recommend them for people who chronically under-eat, or who have irregular sleep schedules, whether due to insomnia, shift work, or frequent travel.

Your next steps

Any serious intermediate or advanced trainee can benefit from autoregulation. The first three techniques listed here can be added to any existing program without changing the workouts or overall schedule, so that’s where to start.

Pick three exercises in three different workouts you’re currently using. Apply reactive deloading, autoregulatory volume training, and conditional failure training to one exercise each, in accordance with the exercise selection guidelines I’ve laid out here.

Next time you change up your program, use each of those three methods on two exercises each. Additionally, raise your training frequency by one or two workouts per week, but start incorporating as-needed rest days into your schedule

By combining these four techniques, you can optimize your training load to the precise needs and capabilities of your body.

Auto-regulation is one of the many tools that elite coaches use to get their clients very big and very lean, without making them very, very exhausted. I’ve compiled twelve of these techniques in The Dirty Dozen: 12 Techniques for Greater Gainz, my free primer on advanced weight training methods.

By applying the right training method at the right time, in the right amount, you can optimize your workouts around whatever goal you want- whether that’s hypertrophy, strength, strength-endurance, fat loss or work capacity.

If you want to upgrade your body, you need to upgrade your knowledge.  

Building muscle is just like anything else worth having in life…it takes time, discipline and consistency.

If you’re beginner, you don’t have to train like a professional bodybuilder.

Bodybuilders have that prized spot on the top of the muscle-bound hill. HOWEVER, their techniques may be too advanced to start with.

See, muscle building is simply a response to stress. You stress your muscles with weights and they come back bigger and stronger.

Now, the more you do this the bigger and stronger your muscles are and the harder it is to make further changes. This means bodybuilders must spend hours a day in the gym going to failure and doing crazy things that YOU don’t need to do. At least not yet.

So what do you need to do?

1. EAT

Eating is essential because what do you think muscle is made of?

There are no jacked elves that sneak into your room at night and make your muscles grow- it’s the FOOD you eat. If you do not eat enough your body won’t build muscle- period.

To start, focus on just eating MORE. Try eating 250 calories extra, above your resting metabolic rate, for two weeks and see how that goes. A simple trick to finding out your RMR is just multiple your weight (in pounds) by 15. So, if you’re 160 right now try eating around 2550 calories a day.

Note: This is just an estimate, the key here is to avoid eating too few calories. As a week or two passes you can adjust and see if you need more or less calories.

2. Focus

How many yachts can you water ski behind?

Just one baby.

If you’re looking to build mass then don’t plan to run a marathon or flaunt a 6-pack in the next few months. You body adapts to demands you impose upon it. If your goals stretch out in different directions you’ll end up drained, defeated, and where you are at right now.

Be a man, make a decision and make mass-building your priority in the gym (we can always make those abs pop later).

3. Time Under Tension

Right to the juicy stuff now…

To actually build your muscles you need to put your muscles under tension (in other words, USE them) and do so for a period of time.

Makes sense, right?

The tricky part is that there are so many ways to increase time under tension!

Do we do 5 sets of 5?

3 sets of 10?

40 seconds of exercise?

Don’t worry about that because I’ve got your answer down below. Just know that to build muscle you’ll be putting in more time under the bar.

4. REST

You’ll also be putting in more time in bed.

Sure, your growing muscles will attract a lot of female attention- but that’s not what I’m talking about.

Specifically, we’re talking about getting you more sleep.

What it comes down to is that muscles need stress to grow. Stress is the signal BUT it doesn’t build your muscles up. Your body does that naturally.

If you over-train and push yourself you’ll interfere with your natural muscle-building pathways and shoot yourself in the foot.

When you really over do it you may even end up sick or injured. Trust me, that’s no fun.

Plus, getting a decent 7 ½ to 9 hours of sleep a night will give you the hormonal edge because during sleep growth hormone and testosterone levels are seen to spike.

5. Keep it Extremely Simple

Training for mass isn’t about blasting individual body parts (unless you’ve been training for a few years).

You’ll get a surge of muscle growth sticking with simple compound lifts for strength. Here’s a list to get you started:

The clean and press, dips, back squat, bench, deadlift, rows, pull ups, bicep curls, farmers walks, and the overhead press are all classics.

These movements have been used since the dawn of ancient Greece to sculpt massive powerful muscles.

Not to mention, you don’t need to spend 2+ hours in the gym now going over 50 different exercises to build mass!

6. Volume is king, 5-10 reps per set 15-25 total

At the end of the day time under tension is king as you recall we talked about up above. It’s what separates the average beta-dudes from the strong confident alpha-males of the world.

Let’s skip the theory of time under tension and go right into the results:

What works is doing 5-10 reps per set until you reach 15-25 reps total.

This could mean…

2 set of 10 reps for a back squat

5 sets of 5 reps for pull ups

Or anything in between.

This allows you to put in significant volume while lifting significant weight. Otherwise…

If you lift light weights with higher volume you may not grow any muscle because the weight is too light. (Like carrying a 1-pound book all day hoping to get monstrous biceps.)

If you lift super heavy with lower volume you may get stronger through nervous-system adaptation but not significantly boost your muscle mass.

7. Leave One or Two Reps in The Tank

Even though volume is higher, you don’t want to go to failure.

That’s a bodybuilder move used out of desperation to trash a muscle and force further muscle growth.

You don’t need to work that hard! Instead, you should feel a good pump- energized, happy, and warm.

In general, lifting super heavy or going to failure is going to be bad news. Lifting pretty heavy, around 70%-80% of your 1-rep maximum, will keep you in control to practice good form, minimize risk of injury, and allow you to maximize time under tension.

8. Treat yo self

I’m not talking about shopping or getting your nails done.

Getting a massage isn’t off the table though.

This is the second stage of building mass. As a refresher, first you have to stress the muscles then you have to allow the muscles to come back stronger and better than before.

That means rest!

In practice this means you’ll get the beauty sleep we talking about above.

It also means sitting more, taking shorter routes throughout your days, and even wearing a sweatshirt if you’re cold.

This makes sure your body’s resources are laser-focused on recovery.

And, at the end of the day, this is just for now because you’re going to build maximum muscle in a short amount of time.

9. Lift Heavy Enough

I hinted at this before, but it’s essential.

To build muscle you MUST lift heavy.

At the end of the day, lifting heavy is what will build your muscles.

Otherwise, you’d see office drones building powerful back muscles by pulling opening doors.

Ridiculous right? but you get what I mean.

If you’re not lifting heavy enough your body has no reason to change and become bigger or stronger.

However, if you lift too heavy you risk putting yourself at injury or not getting in enough volume. Sticking to 70%-80% of your one-rep max, where you feel ‘worked out’ in that 5-10 rep range is ideal.

10. Avoid Voodoo- Be a Scientist

As my private coaching clients know, my two favorite words are:

Show me.

Today more than ever there is a problem with ADHD. Guys try a few workouts and it doesn’t ‘stick’ so they look for the latest secret.

Trust me, it’s a matter of sticking with the basics to see results. You can milk the secrets above for years until you see results start to plateau.

The key is to track what you do, see the results, and adjust as needed.

At the end of the day, if it ain’t simple it ain’t happening.

Now, it’s your turn to take action.

Use these tips wisely and head into the gym to build the biggest baddest version of yourself.

FLASH BACK:  It’s  7:12 a.m. and I just finished a killer dumbbell workout before school.

I’d only been seriously lifting for about 6 weeks and couldn’t believe the changes.

You know what I mean?  Those first few weeks when you start where it seems like changes are dramatic?

I only had a few minutes left to toss my clothes on and head out but heck- I was so proud I got carried away flexing in front of the mirror scoping out those baby muscles.  

Hey don’t judge- it happens to the best of us!

Suddenly, my friend who was sleeping over walked by and said something that’s stuck in my head (even to today):

“You look great! If you didn’t have such unlucky genes, you’d be able to look like that poster on your wall…”

Unlucky genes…

I was furious.  

I spend hours a week training.  I make sure I eat right.  I even spend time reading and learning new ways to train and eat better.

Could all that really mean nothing because of my genetics?

If you think the answer is yes, you may not have heard of epigenetics.

Epigenetics all started with two mice.

In the year 2000 researcher Randy Jirtle took two mice that possess something called the agouti gene and did an experiment.  Just so you know, the agouti gene is NOT something you’d want to have as a mouse- especially around swimsuit season. 

Not only does the agouti gene predispose the mice to cancer and diabetes, but also it turns them a hideous yellow color.

As you can imagine, offspring of these agouti mice will possess the agouti gene BUT Jirtle made it so that the offspring of the parent agouti mice were slim and had brown hair.

It was as if Jirtle flipped a switch in the offspring to make the agouti gene disappear…

…So what happened?

Well, Jirtle took loving couples of mice carrying the agouti gene and split them into two groups:

One group was the control, they just had your run-of-the-mill mouse life.

The other group was fed a diet rich in methyl-donors.  We’re talking beets, onions, garlic, and so on.

You see, these methyl donors ended up modifying the expression of the agouti genes in the baby mice.

Imagine that your DNA is a cookbook.

There’s the potential to whip up cancer, diabetes, or cardiovascular disease in there BUT what if you’re missing an ingredient for that recipe?

Exactly, you’ll have to make something else.

What researchers are discovering is that just because you have the DNA doesn’t mean that DNA will be expressed.

Another way to look at it is planting a seed in the soil but NOT giving it water, sunlight, and fertilizer.  

Simply, right?  How about we check out a few of my three favorite habits that can hack your genetics to help you look better, live longer, and have glowing health…

#1 Weight training

Even if you’re starting off skinny or weak you can still improve your strength with progressive resistance.

Genetically, you’ll have a tendency to develop muscles based towards power, endurance, or strength BUT with training you can actually modify this because your body will adapt to the stresses you place it under.

It turns out that this stress also has longer-reaching benefits into your health beyond from making you irresistible to the ladies and feeling like a badass in or out of your t-shirt.

For example, one study shows that exercise regulates methylation in your body.  Yup, the same methylation that suppressed the agouti gene in those mice.

One recent study on breast cancer and exercise saw that 43 genes were changed due to methylation because of exercise.  Three of those genes are directly correlated with breast cancer, showing that exercise can slow turn or “turn off” these cancer genes.

This S@#! works in humans too!

Similarly, exercise slows down the aging process.

A HUGE sign of aging is a lack of methylation.  Your body gets a bit lazy and doesn’t regulate methylation as tightly as it used to, for some reason.  

This is good news for you iron addicts though because exercise boosts methylation drastically reducing signs of aging.  Not only will you look younger, you’ll actually feel and perform like you’re younger too…

… and all the ladies will appreciate that very much (trust me).

Plus, exercise increases the amount of GLUT-4 you make.

GLUT-4 is one of the proteins that takes insulin into your muscle cells with insulin.  The more GLUT-4 you have the greater your insulin sensitivity.  The end result?  Exercise can reduce symptoms of- and even reverse- Type 2 Diabetes even if you’re genetically “destined” for it.

Did I mention all the benefits to fat loss and building muscle mass as well?

Dude, finish this article- then go hit the gym!

#2 Cold showers

Never tried one of these bad boys?

Change that today.

Turns out a cold shower isn’t just a fantastic way to boost your energy and your circulation.  These little tests of will power also revamp with your genes.

To start, one study had 3,018 men and women take short cold showers for 30 days straight for 30-90 seconds of cold showering at a time (about 3 minutes total cold exposure per day).  Over the next 90 days the cold shower group had a 29% reduction in sick days from work.

Crazy right?

That means a few minutes a day can actually buy you 29% more days of productivity.

But that’s not even the best!

Cold exposure is seen to boost testosterone levels too.  

That means bigger and stronger muscle growth combined with faster recovery times.

It’s a win-win-win.  And all it takes is 2-3 minutes of cold showering a day.

Does even the thought of taking a cold shower fill you with despair?

A cold shower may be exactly what you need because there’s even evidence that cold showers can lessen depression!

Try a cold shower out today by starting out slow and cycling periods of cold water and hot water.

#3 Intermittent fasting

You may already know about the rapid weight loss benefits of intermittent fasting BUT there are a few other benefits that switch on life-saving genes.

Research illustrates that when you fast intermittently (for 16-36 hours) your body increases in free radicals, just a little.  This change is big enough to trigger your SIRT3 gene.  The result?

Your body produces sirtuins, a type of protein that protects your body and increases your lifespan.

BOOM.

Not only will you be living longer, you’ll be living healthier too.  With fasting there is a significant uptick in your insulin sensitivity.  This means a much lower risk of type 2 diabetes AND you can get away with eating more ice cream without it spilling over into fat.

And what’s the point of living longer if you can’t have ice cream??

There’s one more massive improvement from fasting as well.  Fasting is seen to increase levels of a protein known as BDNF.  

BDNF works to make your brain larger and smarter so you can have greater memory, learn new skills quicker, and be smarter overall.  Even better, research suggests there may be a protective effect of BDNF on your brain to prevent dementia.

The bottom line is It’s easy to take your health into your own hands with simple habit changes.  I don’t want you to EVER be a victim to your genetics.  Instead, take your life by the balls and swing your health, body, and mind in the direction YOU want to go.

REFERENCES

Buijze, G. A., Sierevelt, I. N., van der Heijden, B. C., Dijkgraaf, M. G., & Frings-Dresen, M. H. (2016). The Effect of Cold Showering on Health and Work: A Randomized Controlled Trial. PloS one, 11(9), e0161749.

Haigis, M. C., & Guarente, L. P. (2006). Mammalian sirtuins—emerging roles in physiology, aging, and calorie restriction. Genes & development, 20(21), 2913-2921.

Halberg, N., Henriksen, M., Söderhamn, N., Stallknecht, B., Ploug, T., Schjerling, P., & Dela, F. (2005). Effect of intermittent fasting and refeeding on insulin action in healthy men. Journal of Applied Physiology, 99(6), 2128-2136.

Katare, R. G., Kakinuma, Y., Arikawa, M., Yamasaki, F., & Sato, T. (2009). Chronic intermittent fasting improves the survival following large myocardial ischemia by activation of BDNF/VEGF/PI3K signaling pathway. Journal of molecular and cellular cardiology, 46(3), 405-412.

Ntanasis-Stathopoulos, J.; Tzanninis, J-G.; Philippou, A.; Koutsilieris, M. (June 2013). “Epigenetic regulation on gene expression induced by physical exercise”. J Musculoskelet Neuronal Interact. 13 (2): 133–46. PMID 23728100.

Pääkkönen, T., & Leppäluoto, J. (2002). Cold exposure and hormonal secretion: a review. International journal of circumpolar health, 61(3), 265-276.

Shevchuk, N. A. (2008). Adapted cold shower as a potential treatment for depression. Medical hypotheses, 70(5), 995-1001.

Zeng, H.; rwin, M. L.; Lu, L.; Risch, H.; Mayne, S.; Mu, L.; et al. (May 2012). “Physical activity and breast cancer survival: an epigenetic link through reduced methylation of a tumor suppressor gene: L3MBTL1”. Breast Cancer Res Treat. 133 (1): 127–35. PMID 21837478. doi:10.1007/s10549-011-1716-7.

Zhang, F. F.; Cardarelli R; Carroll J; Zhang S; Fulda KG; Gonzalez K; Vishwanatha JK; Morabia A; Santella RM (Mar 2011). “Physical activity and global genomic DNA methylation in a cancer-free population”. Epigenetics. 6 (3): 293–9. PMC 3092677 Freely accessible. PMID 21178401. doi:10.4161/epi.6.3.14378

Where do you stand on warming-up?

There’s a spectrum. On one end, there are the people who spend 30 minutes stretching and riding a bike preparing to lift weights and waste most of their time to train. 

On the other end, there are the people who perform no warm up at all. They show up after 8 hours of sitting at a desk and start benching right way, fuelling a very bad storm to come. 

Ever wake up dreading the idea of going to the gym, but after getting there, you end up having a great workout? You can thank your warm-up for that.

A perfect warm-up virtually ensures a perfect workout, but a poor one will almost certainly ruin what could have been a great training experience. It can even impair the performance in the main workout.

That being said not all warm ups are created equal. While doing a handful of stretches and a five minute bike ride might have cut it in high school, that time of primitive behaviour isn’t going to cut it anymore.

Nor is it going to maximize the anabolic response to get more out of every single rep.

When done correctly, anabolic priming will keep your body healthy, enhance your neural output, and allow you to reach levels of muscularity and strength you never thought possible in 1/3 of the time. 

But if that doesn’t convince you, here are 3 more reasons to ditch the traditional warm up for anabolic priming. 

You can thank me later 🙂

1. Priming Bulletproofs The Body And Prepares It For The Battle Ahead

The way you choose to warm up for an exercise can be the difference between packing on muscle or fizzling out.

Before heavy lifting, the average person hops on the elliptical for 10-15 minutes, then does several light sets of their strength exercise before piling on the heavy plates. They call that a “warm up.” And maybe that’s why they’re average.

It’s time you stopped warming up like a scrawny jogger for building muscle. 

Doing a little light jogging isn’t going to cut it if you want to get fully prepared for an intense chest and back weightlifting session! Nor is it going to maximize the anabolic response to get more out of every single rep.

When done correctly, anabolic priming will keep your body healthy, enhance your neural output, and allow you to reach levels of muscularity and strength you never thought possible in 1/3 of the time.

2. Anabolic Priming Spikes Your Key Muscle Building Hormones By Up To 1700%

The hormone “spike ” induced from priming early in the routine creates a greatly boosted anabolic environment. Growth hormone (GH) is a big deal to lifters. 

Get enough of it pumping through your veins and you cause fat cells to dump their cargo and muscle cells to explode with growth. No you can inject it, however it’s extremely expensive and it’s not nearly as potent as the natural kind.

Now there are many supplements claiming to increase growth hormone. Unfortunately many of those supplements are just pretty packaging. 

The best way to boost GH? Lift weights. 

However, anabolic priming does this in a specific way to increase GH levels by an amazing 1700% and marinate your muscles in a tsunami of GH.

Increases in testosterone (the other anabolic twin) will also boost strength levels via increased motor nerve activity which will in turn, allow for more exercise-induced muscle damage and muscle growth (ideal for “hard arm size gainers”). 

3. Priming Unlocks Your Anabolic Advantage

The most important aspect of muscle growth is this: your internal environment.

Ask any pro and they would probably tell you that if they could provide the perfect environment in which their bodies could grow, their muscle building troubles would disappear.

Indeed, creating the appropriate environment (an anabolic environment) is the key to great gains. This is what Joe and I like to call unlocking your “Anabolic advantage”.

Anabolic Priming techniques we’re formulated to release maximum testosterone, growth hormone and ensure everything is in place to crush every single workout session.

The Bottom Line…

Your hormones are the biggest dictator of how much muscle you can build. how well you perform and how good you look and feel. Anabolic priming takes care of you form the inside out.

Anabolic Priming is a cutting-edge and scientifically-proven system that unleashes floods of anabolic hormones in your body, creating the prefect environment for more muscle, better recovery and more strength. It also prepares and activates your muscles, joints, nervous system, and even your psychology and mind, for any type of workout you are about to do.

If you are ready for the full, badass program, check it out below while it’s on sale for 90% OFF (until copies run out). You won’t be dissapointed.

>> Anabolic Priming 90% Off (while copies last)

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” – Bruce Lee

I remember sitting on the bus a few years ago when this man the size of hippopotamus waddles on board. His size, to say the least, was impressive. 

The scary part was that he had two bags full of Mcdonald’s goodies. In the 15 minutes that ensued until I got off at my stop, he managed to devour two big Macs, a large fries, a large coke, ten nuggets and two pies (which I believe were both apples). 

Walking home after getting off, I remember asking myself:

“How can he rationalize eating so much? He takes up two seats, can barely walk and his XXXL clothes looked a tad too tight.” 

The answer?

He can’t. Just like I can’t rationalize getting up extra early on Saturdays to play four hours of video games (not so much anymore, thankfully) when I should be working on my business. 

Human nature sucks. We break commitments to ourselves, almost as much as we break bread.

Why?

Because logic fails. 

Thankfully ten decades of psychology has taught us that we can make success automatic by reverse engineering what would make us stray in the first place. 

Here are three bulletproof tips to ensure you achieve success in any are of your life!

1. Reverse betting

Introduced to me by my friend Mike Vacanti, the reverse bet is exactly what it seems. You set a goal and bet a consequence to losing if you don’t achieve said goal on time/to the caliber you originally outlined. Hence why it’s a reverse bet, instead of winning, you lose; well not really since you are achieving your goals – but you get the point. 

Mike Vacanti reverse bets his entire net worth. Obviously, that’s slightly insane, so for us, normal folk here’s what you can do.

Take some money you would hate to part with. It should be an uncomfortable amount. Then set a goal, and the consequence is that you throw that amount of money out the window. 

That should light a fire under your ass.

2. Photo Mounting and Journaling 

This has more to do with daily reminders than anything else. A significant barrier to achieving goals is forgetfulness; more specifically that we forget about them soon after we set them. 

The first few days, inspiration is sky high. But then something happens, results don’t happen as quickly as we thought, progress slows and motivation wavers. Our once attainable goal now seems like a far away mission. Most give up and end up right where they started. 

The solution? Consistent reminders and check in’s 

When I finally successfully transformed my body and kept it there, it was because I carried around a fat photo of myself in my pocket on a daily basis. Furthermore, I had one mounted in my room to remind me every morning and every night. 

Whenever I would have the urge to cheat on my diet or skip the gym, there was the photo, reminding me of who I am and where I need to go. Transforming and staying fit, became effortless.

The other tactic I used was daily journaling. In the morning I would write out my goals, by hand. This served as a reminder and set up the rest of the day to be aligned with said goal.

At night was where the magic happened. I would simply do a daily check in regarding my goal. How was my diet that day? Did I go to the gym? What could I have done better? What did I do amazing today?

The mere thought of having to write down I cheated on my diet, or I skipped the gym was enough for me not to do those things.

3. Kaizen

Kaizen is a Japanese term and means small daily improvements.

You aren’t going to get huge and shredded overnight.

You aren’t going to make a million dollars overnight, and you certainly aren’t going to find the person of your dreams overnight. It happens, little by little over time. 

1% better every single day is the goal. I promise if you commit to small daily improvements, you will achieve anything you set your mind too. 

It’s 2 am, on a crisp, now Wednesday, morning. Chills creep down my spine, and a single tear rolls down my cheek as I realize it’s time. It’s time to move the body. Tonight wasn’t supposed to end like this…but is any night supposed to end in the death of a loved one?

Death is funny a thing. It’s something we can all relate too. It’s something that no matter how hard we try, will always be in the back of our minds. But, it’s also the thing that makes life worth living for. 

My uncle was like a second father to me. Having no kids of his own, my siblings and I were his children. He was at every birthday, every graduation and every single hockey game that I played. 

As I help carry the body of my deceased uncle out of his basement, a wave of overwhelming emotion hits me, hard. I double over ready to puke, but right before, I see my father, longing for his dead brother; knowing he will never see him, touch him or talk to him again. I see my sister and horrible flash takes me to the future… is this how it will be for her and I.

I take a deep breath and muster the courage to continue moving the body. I can’t stop now. My father needs me. We load the body into the funeral home van, thank everyone for their help and go our separate ways.

This article is not meant to gather sympathy. Rather I wrote it to be a leg of support for anyone who will inevitably go through the same thing, to lean on, with the simple message: it will be ok. 

Understanding Grief

Grief is a natural response. It helps us cope and heal when the connection with a loved one, has been irreversibly severed. It is beyond painful, but it is also necessary. 

In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced to the world,  the “five stages of grief.” 

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

And although these are common responses to loss (especially when it’s a loved one) there is no time line or structure to move through these processes. Besides, you may not even go through all these stages linearly, but rather jump around as I did. 

Kübler-Ross never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework for everyone experiencing grief. Before her death in 2004, she said this regarding the issue:

“They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.” (1)

Some people will withdraw into a deep corner, isolating themselves from the world. Others will throw themselves into work, take drugs or overcompensate for distraction. And others will simply cry until there isn’t a single tear left to shed.

Please know that there is no “right” way to grieve and that you don’t have to get back to “normal” – that will never happen, and it’s a blessing. It wasn’t until I realized that I was never supposed to go back to “normal,” that I took back control of my life.

The way you feel at the time is the right way for you to feel. Life and death are a personal journey. You’re allowed to do whatever it is that you need to heal.

Suppressing your feelings and being “tough” or “strong” is a dangerous game to play; it builds an unstable emotional dungeon, ready to collapse at any moment. When you allow yourself to be open and be vulnerable, you allow the grieving process to do its job: Healing you.

Living in the moment, even when it sucks

If you’ve read any personal development, it’s continuously preached that living in the present is a fundamental component to success and happiness. But what do we do when the moment sucks? How do we live in the moment when we are doing all we can to stay afloat, from the waterfall of depression crashing down on us?

You learn to sit in the pain, accepting it without judgment. 

Without this, you start playing the “what if” game. What if I was there 10 minutes, before his heart attack? What if I spent more time talking with him and helping him/her? What if I called more, loved more and on and on. Once you let that game in, it consumes you. 

Instead of sleeping at night, you are wide awake thinking of million possibilities; convinced that if you did this or that you could somehow bring that person back.

Living in the moment when it sucks, allows you to avoid this never-ending wormhole. 

When you resist the tidal wave of emotions from death, they build up into a terrifying tsunami, that will eventually come crashing down on you. 

The first days (and weeks) after my uncle’s sudden passing, I allowed myself to succumb to the overwhelming misery; yet at the same time, I took action. Rather than ignoring the pain, I experienced it, completely and responded to it. I listened and gave it an identity. I let it consume me, not fighting or resisting, but watching, observing and learning from it. 

I allowed myself to break into tears without judgment spontaneously. I lived in the moment, even when that moment was raw, unfiltered misery. The tears eventually slowed… and the despair evaporated; by allowing pain to have its moment, its moment passed. 

Sadness allows for the roots of joy to take hold and flourish. 

I stopped shedding tears because it’s over and instead, started cracking smiles because it happened. In remembering who he was and what he meant to me, I found myself appreciating the time we had, and honoring that. 

Forgiveness

Time doesn’t heal all. Spending my days playing video games and binge watching Netflix didn’t do a damn thing for me. It didn’t make the time go by faster or help me forget. Instead, it made each day seem more and more meaningless. Spending your time avoiding the pain is only pushing back the healing process. Time well spent, on the other hand, starts the healing process.

And the greatest way to spend time when dealing with loss? Basking in Forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is vital in letting go and moving forward. Not only forgiving others but also forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself of all the guilt you are keeping locked in a cage for your loved one.

When my uncle passed, I felt responsible for every mishap in my head and for all the times I didn’t tell him I loved him or hugged him. 

In forgiving, I freed myself and my life of anger, betrayal and hurt. This made room for peace and love to take root and enter my heart.

If you’re dealing with the loss of someone you love, practice your presence each day and become aware of the thoughts coming filtering through your mind. Allow yourself to be sad, angry and hurt but more importantly, allow yourself to be happy. Forgiveness is the real gift you can give back to your loved one who is gone and to those still with you.

Going forward doesn’t mean forgetting. Enjoying life again doesn’t imply that the person is no longer missed or somehow forgotten. It simply means that grief has run its course. Period.

There will always be a crater where my uncle once stood. By learning to embrace the awful moments in the present—the sad moments, the inevitable times when I remember I will never see him at another hockey game or a family dinner—I have learned that they, like everything, are not permanent. They are moments to be celebrated because they happened. And finally, that embracing the present moment even when it sucks the most, is the only way to truly, live. 

TZEMIS, Andy —July 15, 1948 – February 21, 2017

Born in Athens, Greece on July 15, 1948, Andy came to Canada with my grandmother  in 1958, one year after his father had arrived.

Following his graduation from Sir Wilfred Laurier University, Andy pursued a career in sales and advertising working with CFNY and CFMT. He had an outgoing and sincere personality that you couldn’t help but love. Always quick with a smile and a kind word, Andy made everyone around him feel better. He was and will always be the life of the party.

His involvement with AHEPA was his hobby and his passion. He spent most of his life supporting the community work that AHEPA was involved in which included volunteering as a big brother. Being an avid sportsman, nothing was more precious to Andy than to watch his niece and three nephews play in their various sporting events. Always with a post game encouraging word and thought, uncle Andy was their premiere fan.

My uncle was loved by so many great and caring friends and adoring family that I know his presence will be missed tremendously.

The single most wonderful characteristic about Andy was that no matter what, he was always there for his family and friends. His unselfish words “what do you need man?” will forever live in our thoughts. Now, with our prayers, we are all here for him.

May God Rest your Soul and may Eternal be your memory.

(1) “Coping with Grief & Loss.” N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Feb. 2017 <https://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/hr/hrdepts/asap/Documents/Coping_with_Grief.pdf>.